A Posture of Empathy: Notes from the Stephen Ministry Course
I remember well that evening when I opened FAC’s Daily Digest email on September 4, and the Stephen Ministry Training opportunity caught my eye. I remember the strong tug of excitement as I read the description, followed by the sobering question of how this 2 ½-hour, twice-weekly, 21-week course would play into my portion at this time. It was clear that the program sought to equip all trainees with a biblically-based and structured approach to caregiving and be committed to the Congregational Care ministry. As we all face trouble in this world, there is an equal opportunity to care for others, actioning our salvation. The call was too strong for me to ignore—that perhaps here lay God’s plan to equip those He calls for “doing his will” (Heb. 13:20-21). I shared the passionate pulse with my wife, and payment was completed minutes after opening that email.
Once logged onto the online classroom, what had initially seemed to be a daunting commitment of 80+ hours over 21 weeks, plus pre-readings, was refreshing, humbling, and fulfilling. We all had schedules to juggle, including families to manage. Pastor Tolu taught tirelessly and led very dynamic discussions with a band of approximately 12 women and men from various age groups, work experiences, stages in life, and cultural backgrounds.
To accommodate our schedules, we divided into two groups between morning and evening sessions on Mondays and Tuesdays—Pastor Tolu taught each lesson twice! During class time, there were plenty of role-playing exercises in each of the modules, placing the theory we learned into familiarity and practice.
As we began training, I found the best approach for my own learning was to release my personal views on what a caregiver should do and allow afresh the greater learnings found through Pastor Tolu’s teaching of the course material, group discussions, and role-playing exercises. This training has raised my awareness of selfless life skills that should be in my mental foreground rather than the background.
A couple of illustrations summarize the ministry simply: in life, we will always encounter trauma—never if but when—many of which will leave us trodden, scathed in a muddy pit. The Stephen Ministry is designed to equip and call on the prospective caregiver to descend into the pit with an extended hand to the care receiver while the other hand is gripping onto the root of a tree firmly planted above ground. We are anchored to Jesus, the Cure Giver. The Caregiver is equipped, represented by a compass with Jesus at the center, and we are guided through each journey by being compassionate, full of faith, skilled, and trustworthy.
We learned that the approach to providing due care is in the posture of empathy, which mirrors how Jesus approached His ministry on earth. Empathy requires the Caregiver to be present with the Care Receiver, with effective listening and an attentive heart and mind.
The Caregiver’s role is to venture into the muddy pit with a heart of empathy to identify with the Care Receiver’s circumstances, pain, brokenness, feelings, and cry, and assist the Care Receiver’s ability to clamber out of the pit through Jesus’ work through and in us. The Caregiver is merely a vessel for God, who is the Cure Giver, to administer His divine healing over the Care Receiver. Caregivers are not counsellors, but as conversations unfold, resources can perhaps be suggested to assist the receiver out of the pit.
As Stephen Ministers, we are supported by Pastor Tolu as well as each other. We will review the progress of each case in confidence, which provides depth to the assistance the Caregiver can provide. We will have other formal opportunities for continuous education. We must, without a doubt, abide daily in Christ, be nourished in God’s word, and be praying for our Care Receivers as well as our team members.
I imagine the parable Jesus taught of the Caregiving Samaritan, but particularly of that travelled road, which is full of fallen people whom God loves and who are in need of care.
Thank you, V, for sharing your learnings and reflections from the Stephen Ministry Course!
You may also be interested in …
