• Posted:
  • January 2, 2025
  • Categories:
  • Church Thoughts
  • Faith

How Do I Join A Band?

Heather: People have so often asked me, “How do people connect in a big church like yours?”. My answer always includes finding a place to help, getting involved and being intentional about meeting others. Now I add to my response: get in a band.

When James first introduced this idea, it took me a good couple of months to figure out who I would ask to be in my band. I wrestled with questions like, “Should it be someone I know? Should it be someone who attends FAC? What if I feel really strong about one person but I’m not sure who else? What if I ask two people and they don’t connect?”. It could have stopped me completely, but I had to move forward and I did.

Grant SylvesterGrant: In my conversations with people lately, I’m finding that the topics of loneliness and lack of connection are often and quickly brought up. And while we are pretty good at disguising our struggle with this, deep down we have a core desire to be known and loved by both God and others. Bands are a great opportunity to combat these feelings of disconnection.

Heather: As I thought about the forming of bands, I realized there are a lot of people in our church who may not know anyone. Where do they start? How could they possibly form a band? Meeting new people can be very hard; it’s intimidating and scary for many. A lot of people don’t know how to start conversations with strangers. Some are introverts. Some are too extroverted! I’ve thought about this a lot and have spent time brainstorming this with others. 

Here are a few thoughts I have on starting a band.

  • Prayer first…always! God knows who would be a good fit for you and what this kind of accountability and discipleship will do for you. Trust Him with it. Then, step forward and start the conversations.
  • Think of someone you already know. Is there anyone in your current circle that you would like to get to know more?
  • Try remembering someone you may have met in passing. You could ask them if they have thought about joining a band. Maybe meet them for coffee and talk about it. Get to know each other a little bit more!
  • Try meeting someone new! Maybe you are new to FAC and don’t know anyone. What would it look like to say hi to the person you are sitting next to in church or in the coffee line? Maybe you decide you want to help and start serving on a ministry team. There are so many ways to start getting to know people when you are helping together.

Grant: To add to Heather’s prayer point—try asking the Lord to lead you to divine appointments. These are moments when it becomes clear that you both want to move in this direction. These are most likely people who are already friends, but be open. God may direct you to ask someone you don’t know so well, and that’s okay!

These bands take time—lots of time—to allow trust and rapport to grow and develop. This isn’t meant to be a quick fix, so give it time! And don’t forget the power of serving others. You’ll forge connections as you serve, and it will also raise your self-esteem. Look for opportunities to volunteer at the church and see what connections may develop.

As you continue to serve and pray, opportunities will arise to come together and form a band. I love what Vivek Murthy, the former U.S. Surgeon General, said:

“Belonging involves more than being accepted, known, and loved—it’s about sharing in the concern and responsibility for others.”

Heather: I would encourage you not to let fear stop you from getting involved in a band. Don’t wait for someone to ask you! What if you asked someone else? There are many who want to be in a band but need someone to ask. And don’t wait too long for that perfect group to form. There is no perfect group.

You don’t have to be close friends to start this, you just have to be willing to start, to commit to meet and to answer the first three questions. The rest will come. Don’t let your view of whether you are spiritual enough or not stop you. Be honest and truthful about who you are and others will do the same. 

I’m with the band. We did giggle when we first started talking about what to call our band. Hey we are creatives – we need a name (and hoodies!).

How did this band get started? I prayed. I thought about who. I asked.  We met.  We dove deep. We have laughed, cried and prayed. I can’t say enough how much my band has made an impact on my life.

I feel seen and known, prayed for and encouraged. You don’t want to miss out on this band in your life!

Written by Heather Laubenstein, the Senior Arts & Communications Director and Grant Sylvester, the Discipleship Pastor – Next Steps

Looking to learn more? We’d love to help! Join us after any of the January 18/19 weekend services at FAC Deerfoot in the Family Resource Centre to chat through some practical next steps. There will be a chance to ask questions, get some guidance, and possibly meet others who are also looking to connect!

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