Blessing That Overwhelms Sacrifices
My journey into Care Ministry started about 3 and a half years ago. A person contacted me about her friend who also attended FAC. The friend’s husband was ill with cancer and in hospice care. My contact wanted to know if the church could provide support. I asked her what kind of support was needed. She said she would discuss that with her friend and get back to me. She later reported that her friend had said nothing at all about her own needs. Instead, she’d said, “My husband is lonely. He’d like more visitors.”
My initial thought was that I should try to arrange a pastoral visit. I contacted Pastor Ray; he was incredibly responsive. When I told him the particular hospice location he said, “Oh yes, I’ve been there many times.” I gave him the name of the individual and he said, “I’ll go and visit him today.” I was so impressed with his response! But I couldn’t ignore a voice inside me saying, “Why don’t you visit him?” So, I responded, “Yes, I’ll do that. I’ll plan to do that.”
A couple of days later I went to visit him. I was a bit nervous, not knowing how it would go. At first, it was a little awkward, given we’d never met before. But we were able to start a conversation. We talked about our backgrounds and found some commonalities. Our conversation built from there. After about an hour I felt like it had been a worthwhile visit. I told him I’d come back next week, and I did.
I visited him weekly for about two months. In some of those visits, I’d share a few verses of scripture, and I’d pray (aloud) for him. He referred to that later, saying “It helped.”
Eventually, it became obvious that he was very ill. I remember my last visit. He’d always been in bed, but this time he showed no signs of being ready to interact at all. So, I just sat with him, prayed, and stayed by his side. I can’t remember if I said anything; if so, I didn’t expect a response.
Generally, my visits were about an hour. When my hour was up that day, I got up to leave. As I did, I heard him say, “Thanks.” That was very affirming –made me feel my presence had been worthwhile. Three days later, he passed. I learned that Ray had been with him at the time, along with his wife. Ray had been able to interact with him, saying something like, “If you love Jesus, squeeze my hand.” And he did. I was very happy to hear that.
That chapter ended, but a few months later, Pastor Tolu contacted me and asked if I would like to be part of the Care ministry. My response was, “I think God’s been preparing me for this, so my answer is yes.” Shortly after, she asked if I’d be willing to enter into a care relationship with a man who needed care. She told me a little bit about his situation, which was quite challenging and difficult. I accepted and made arrangements to meet him. We went for coffee at Tim Hortons, and I just started asking questions like, “What’s going on in your life?” He had a lot to share—mostly negative. His last few years had been troubled.
I began by visiting him weekly; but after some months, I (on Tolu’s advice) switched to biweekly visits. In total, I’ve been visiting him for about two and a half years. It’s been a challenging and growing experience—for both of us. I try my best to be encouraging. Most times, I share something from Scripture; sometimes we engage in a study.
I often recommend podcast sermons that I’ve listened to. We sometimes sit in my car and listen to one, then discuss and pray together.
But despite all this, his life has continued to be extremely challenging. Even during the period I’ve been visiting him, he’s had some significant setbacks. It’s been tough. Naturally, I’ve wondered, “God, where are you in this? Are you hearing my prayers? Are you hearing his prayers?” But at the same time, I feel strongly in my spirit that God is leading me and keeping me involved in this ministry.
So, while it’s challenging, it’s also deeply fulfilling. I have a sense that I’m where I need to be, doing what God has called me to do—and that gives me peace.
About a month ago Pastor James preached on the passage in Matthew 19 where the rich man asked Jesus what good deed he needed to do to have eternal life. He wanted an easy way to ‘check the box’, so he could carry on living as he always had –acquiring many possessions. James spoke about how most of us, for much of our lives, are focused on ‘getting’—pursuing what we think we need and especially what we want. But at some point, God calls us to give something up—to start sacrificing, to start ‘giving of ourselves’, to become engaged in serving Him.
I remember contemplating that after the service. I could certainly affirm that in my younger years I was focused on ‘getting’.
The sermon included the final verses of Matt. 19, where Jesus says that we cannot outgive God. If God calls on us to give and we respond to that, we will find there is a blessing that overwhelms any sense of sacrifice. My wife and I have, over many decades, experienced that in the area of financial giving. But when God called me into Care Ministry I said ‘yes’ to giving of myself—giving up time spent on my own interests to share my life with others.
Being part of Care Ministry included participation in the Stephen Ministry course offered last fall. Along with 10 others, I took the course over 15 weeks –5 hours of class time per week plus related reading and activities. I found the course very rewarding. It reinforced my role in Care Ministry, providing tools to make my ministry more effective.
As I contemplated that sermon it struck me: I’m now actually ‘getting’ more than at any prior stage in my life! God’s provision –in income, special blessings– is currently richer than when I was focused on ‘getting’ in the past.
I never want to come across as having it all together…visiting my care receiver requires me to drive across the city. I use that driving time to pray and acknowledge how dependent I am on the Lord to guide me and equip me because I don’t have it in myself. The power to minister to others has to come from Him. And when I arrive I always have a strong sense of confidence that He has equipped me, He’s with me, and I can engage in the visit experience knowing that He’s the one directing it.
There’s a major principle that’s repeated over and over in the Stephen Ministry course: We are caregivers, but God is the Cure-Giver. This gives us peace because even though a situation is not resolved and there are still challenges and difficulties, we can leave that with God and know that He’s got it in His hands.
Thanks so much, A, for sharing your story!
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