What’s a Band?
A discipleship band is a group of 3-5 men or women who meet weekly to engage in transformational questions and to pray for one another. A band is intentionally small and same-gender; it’s a few people who come around you for support and occasionally help hold you together. Think of it like banding together.
A band isn’t a traditional small group or another Bible study. It’s about creating a safe micro-community for being honest and real, a place to share how we’re really doing, our struggles and burdens, and a place to be loved and prayed for.
The key to success is giving it time. Give yourself at least 6 months to get used to the model and to get to know your bandmates. Just keep showing up, being honest, and getting prayed for. The aim is not to come and unload every part of your life and soul in the first few weeks. Instead, let transparency and accountability develop over time.
What Happens in a Band Meeting?
Band meetings are simple in structure and format—and it’s critical that it stays simple.
- Aim to meet weekly
- Respect the Clock: keep it to 15-20 minutes per person
- Challenge by Choice: skip a question anytime; you’re never forced beyond your comfort level
- Limit Cross-Talk: listen intently and avoid interrupting
- One Counselor: invite the Holy Spirit to prompt your prayer
- Comfort with Empathy: hold space for each other; bless and encourage
- Community of Grace: when someone confesses sin, affirm their forgiveness through Jesus and thank them for their courage
- Strictly Confidential: what’s shared in your band stays in your band
Setting a consistent time works best. Block that time on your calendar and guard it from other things taking priority. At the core, a band is about 2 things: honest sharing and praying for one another.
Band Questions
If you’re starting a new band, begin the first 3-6 months by just using the first 3 core questions and then add the last 2 when you’re ready to go deeper together. Move at your own pace and pay attention to relational dynamics; focus on building trust and always maintain confidentiality:
- How’s your soul?
- What are your successes and struggles?
- How is God’s Word and the Holy Spirit speaking in your life?
When you’re ready to go deeper …
- Do you have any sin to confess?
- Is there anything you want to keep secret?
At the end of each person’s sharing time, someone from the band will pray for the one who shared. This is also an opportunity to seek clarification, offer encouragement, and speak into one another’s lives. When sin is confessed, we encourage someone in the band to speak words of forgiveness (i.e. “In the name of Jesus Christ, you are forgiven.” (1 John 1:9).
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one anotherand all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:23-25)
Thank you to Kevin M. Watson, Director of Academic Growth & Formation at Asbury Theological Seminary in Tulsa, Oklahoma, for sharing this content.